German massive CS gathering Hamburg

German massive CS gathering Hamburg


Made it to the central station at 7.40 am. Mariusz and Masha were already there. Breifly packed stuff to the car and off we went.


I had a plan to sleep, but aparently Mariusz was exhausted after the night full of action, so I drove all the way past Berlin in his Passat B6 turbodiesel. Flawless drivers position, but overall could be faster.

When we entered to Germany I couldn’t help but to make fun of german language, and speaking those several words I knew in this language.

We did several stops, including one in Berliner Ring. There were several interesting things. I was pretty tired, so was looking forward to open the beer. First, guy who looked like taken from the world war 2 arrived.



There were also 2 girls from Sweden, with nicest asses I saw in the long time (after Asia where it was a lacking female feature). Thin, bubble butts and in nice dresses. Would totally go for it.

Had my schweinen schintzel for lunch, and the beer I brought from Poland. Nice meal. We got in the car and I tried to catch some sleep. No more than hour later I was woken up by Mariusz. Engine stopped, engine stopped.


I knew in this model it was common thing for the head to break. We pulled over on the autobahn, and looked under the bonnet. There was not even response from the starter. We reseted by putting out the battery, but still no response. I checked the oil, the engine was dry, and there was a smoke coming from the engine after opening the cork.

There was police passing over, but to my surprise they didn’t stop next to the car with open bonnet.

15 minutes later after several unsuccessful attempts to stop passing vehicles to get a ride a car from ADAC came.


He towed us to the nearest gas station, free of charge!

We started walking around asking to get a ride. We caught it in less than 15 minutes.

Arrived in Hamburg at 5 pm. The show must go on.

We went to the park, and before that we bought some beer and food in local “penny” supermarket. Prices were more or less double of those in Warsaw.


Went to the picnic, did registration and started the party. Still no couch, and no car, since we left it in the gas station 100 km from Hamburg. Left our luggage and started drinking. I had a good time with south americans, as always.

Some time later we asked the organizers who could host us, they promised to help. I was rambling around with people, being pushed from time to time by Mariusz if I found anything, since he was coorganizer he felt kind of ashamed of asking. After certain amount of booze I started coming to people straight up with my following sequence, that is similar to cold calling:

Hey, how are you?

blah blah

Are you living close to here?

blah blah

Could you host me and my friend, we came here… (telling the shortened version of the story)

nah, sorry (some lame excuse).

Needless to say I was only approaching people who had two badges – first, were locals, and second could host.

After good dozen of cold approaches, I talked to organizers again. They recommended me to ask a dude in yellow tshirt who looked asian. I approached him and asked straight ahead for a couch. He agreed. In that moment I had impression that he was a bit shy and not too much party type.

How wrong it was.

We headed with our luggage to his place. Dang was living really close to the place, so it took us 10 minutes by subway and 8 minutes walking.

I left my stuff in the living room and Mariusz decided to chill and search for the ways to get his car back to work.

I headed with Dang to keep the party going. We rented the bicycles from the public system, and came back to the park.

Not much to write home about regarding the CS party, as usually in case of those, but later on was fuckin’ epic.


Fun started when we were having kebab, and the remarks made by Dang about chicks entering the place made me totally laugh.

Later we wandered around the center and out of sudden Dang came up with the idea of going to the 80s’ party, instead of hitting the club. We arrived in the apartment.

In the living room instead of the kitchen there was a massive DJ equipment, with huge speakers, mixers and everything you would typically find in a good club. People were dressed to kill, pure 80’s style in most cases.


Props for it, that night germans proved to me that they know how to party. And neighbors wouldn’t bother with police, which would totally happen in Poland (the party was rolling loud until 3 am, and probably longer, but we left).

We still didn’t have enough, so headed to the party street. By bicycle. Two guys on 1!

Damn, the common perception that girls in Germany are ugly must be taken back after what I saw that day (and night). All kinds of mixes, generally good looking faces, slim bodies.. Definitely reconsidered my image of girls quality in Germany.

We kept wandering from bar to bar, hitting the disco in the last place.

We were shouting between each other how the fuck are you ridin’ nigga (playfully; pun intended), and out of the sudden…


The things Dang was saying to girls he would at least get a punch in Poland, or probably some serious beat up, but there chicks would just keep walking, or sometimes smile, few of them insulting back. Laid back.


We were drunk as fuck, but Dang insisted on going again on bicycles (we are on budget, remember that?).



We took the bikes and got to the crossroads. On the other side there was a bunch of policemen. Dang was drunk to the point that felt off the bike once we stopped. They just laughed at him and did nothing.

Now, if that happened in Poland, he would be taken to the sobering place, his driving license taken away, and heavy fine put for riding drunk.

Once again this night, facts made me reconsider that Germany is police state. They were much more chilled than in for instance Poland. And the environment was much more friendly, without bullshit door selection in the clubs and stuff (that happens even in crappy clubs in Poland – ie “you are not entering here with those shoes”).

We almost reached home, but on the way there was a used cars dealership where I spotted a BMW I was potentially interested in buying. Unfortunately that one didn’t have a price tag yet, so I took the pic of the street for further reference. In the meantime I realized that Dang left. Kept going and several hundred meters (on some minor road that I found due to my drunken instincts) we got together.

Saturday we slept till afternoon, then some shopping, where  and preparing for the night.

This time the party was in some kind of bunker (yeah, germans love electro!) always remind me of that

But before we headed to the theme park. Riding some coasters and drinking Jagermeister.

Later we hit the bunker and partied some, but nothing comparable to the last night.

Bit bored, we hit the center (don’t ask me how we got there), and checked the red light district. It was a narrow street with walls prohibiting women from entering. And they comply,img_20130811_045225 didn’t see any (except of working girls of course). Feminists will cry that inequality loud. One more proof Germany didn’t get totally into PC culture and feminism crap.

Came back home and got a well deserved sleep. Next day was the last one in Hamburg, and by no means I was going to miss out.

I had to figure out the way to get back to Poland, since Mariusz already got his car towed back. Browsing the possible trains and buses was not too successful. All I found would take at least 24 hours to come back, and were way too costly. Plane on such a short notice was out of question (and budget). I started browsing the car sharing sites, and found a guy who was going directly from Hamburg to Warsaw. Called the guy and agreed. It was first time using this service, so wasn’t sure how reliable it was though.

Later we walked out.

It was chill afternoon gathering in the park across the port.

Some people were taking a bath, even though the water was freezing and the air wasn’t particularly warm too.



Some sausages and beer later I was in a chatting mood. Got myself next to the sweet girl of russian roots. I knew what she was looking for, and if I stayed a bit longer would definitely throw myself into working on her. Sweet blonde girl without bitch attitude, and the conversation was more interesting than with average female (aka doorknob level). One for delivery please.

Came back in the evening, Chilled out totally, reassuming good weekend and since I was scheduled to leave next day at 6 am, went to bed early, but not without smoking of course!

The guy came to the agreed pick up spot almost punctually. He was an old hippie still maintaining the hippie attitude. During driving on autobahn he would decide that watching road was boring, and watch LCD screen with some waves or scenes from the tropical places instead. Our group (it was 3 of us onboard) decided that someone had to stay awake to avoid potential crash. I had to grab the wheel a few times, but it all turned out well, and 15 hours later we were back in Warsaw.









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